Ever since it was rumored that a Rachel from Suits was getting her loins flambéed by Prince Hot Ginge’s royal crotch torch, there’s been story after story after story of them being together. (“We know, bitch, your obsessive ass has covered them all.” – the average Dlisted reader) PHG confirmed that his freckled scepter belongs to Meghan Markle right now when Kensington Palace released a statement where he shanked at the tabloids and the media for being racist stalkers. But besides that, there haven’t been pictures of them together. Sure, there were pictures of Meghan Markle walking into Kensington Palace with groceries, but anybody can take pictures of themselves walking into Kensington Palace with groceries. The next time you see me drunk at the Chili’s bar in Southern California somewhere, ask to see the pictures on my phone I made my sister take of me going into Kensington Palace with groceries when we went to London. I’ll probably stop when I get to the pictures of me getting tackled by the bobbies and the royal guards in furry dick hats. But anyway, a picture of PHG and Meghan finally exists!
The Sun got to pull out their ultra dramatic WORLD PICTURE EXCLUSIVE tag when they got the first pictures of PHG and Meghan strolling through the West End of London after seeing the play The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time last night. A “friend” of PHG’s spilled all the thrilling details of their date into the ears of The Sun. The source said that PHG got the tickets at the last-minute, which means that if it was sold out, two poor bitches in the best seats were picked up by the royal guards and thrown out as THE PRINCE and the FUTURE PRINCESS sashayed on through the front door of the theater. The source also said that PHG took Meghan to the theater, because she’s an actress and actresses love watching other actors do acting stuff live and in person.
“Harry has said his privacy is important to him but they are clearly not afraid to be seen in public together. They are clearly crazy about each other and have told friends they are very much in love. As an actress Meghan loves the theatre so this was an obvious date to go on.”
I don’t need PHG and Meghan to tell me that they’re in love, because I can tell from that picture. Since I have my PhD in reaching, this is what I see:
PHG: So I said to the chap, pull my finger, mate, cheerio!
Meghan: Oh hell, he’s telling the “pull my finger” joke again. Will the pap please get the goddamn pic already?
And as lazy PHG hangs out with his lady love, Duchess Kate did actual hard labor by shaking hands and waving at a special Cub Scout Pack meeting to celebrate 100 years of Cubs in London yesterday. That cub scarf, already sold out worldwide. I’m sure Duchess Kate stans are ripping them off of cubs right now.