At the beginning of every december, Ellen DeGeneres has a thing on her show called The 12 Days of Giveaways in which she makes like Oprah and causes an audience-wide meltdown by giving away a ton of free shit. But this year, behind the scenes, Ellen has held her own personal giveaway. Except instead of 12 days, it was one day, and instead of free shit for the audience, it was a ton of shit given over the phone to Kathy Griffin.
In November, Kathy Griffin released her latest book, Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins: My A-Z Index, and in it is a not-so-blind item about a certain blonde TV host with an almost robotic sense of niceness who is secretly a real asshole. Kathy later revealed to Access Hollywood that the host in question is Ellen. She claimed Ellen hated both Kathy and her long-time friend, the late Joan Rivers, and considered them to be “mean” comics. Kathy took a final swipe at Ellen by saying that female comics over 50 should support each other.
That brings us to where we are now. Kathy recently spoke to Access Hollywood about the situation and claims she received a call from a “livid” Ellen who cussed her out. Kathy alleges that Ellen claimed she doesn’t hate Kathy. But Ellen added that Kathy shouldn’t expect an invite to Ellen anytime soon, because she doesn’t have to have anyone on her show that she doesn’t want on her show. After Ellen hung up, Kathy cried Botox tears.
Here’s Kathy’s harrowing account of Ellen Abuse on Access Hollywood.
Who to believe? On the one hand, Kathy’s got a book to sell. Not to mention that I’m sure if you look at her birth certificate, you’ll see the words “middle name: DRAMA“. On the other hand, you can’t be as capital-N nice as Ellen is all the time without snapping every once in a while. If only there was a recording of said phone conversation. Not because I need proof, but just because I want to hear Dory the Fish bitch some out in her Louisiana Lite accent. “Hey Kathy? Keep mah name out of yer mouth, or the next time ah see ya, I’ll drop your ass like a passé dance move.”