Suicide Squad was a neon-colored dried turd (strangely enough, I hear that a neon-colored dried turd is just one of the gifts that the King of Method Jared Leto gave to the cast), but it still made almost $750 million worldwide, and that doesn’t include the Mount Everest-sized pile of money it brought in from everyone’s Emo cousin buying merchandise like a pleather and gold-painted metal Puddin’ choker from Hot Topic. So because Suicide Squad was a hit in the money department, DC has hired its director and writer David Ayer to direct and produce a movie starring Harley Quinn, Catwoman and Poison Ivy. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to end with all of us rioting at DC’s offices after it’s announced that Gigi Hadid is playing Catwoman and Kylie Jenner is playing Poison Ivy? Although, those pics of Kylie taken by Uncle Terry did cover every inch of my skin with the itchies and caused my eyeballs to break out into a rash, so that wouldn’t be the weirdest casting decision.
Plans for a Harley Quinn spin-off movie starring Margot Robbie have been talked about for months. And yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter declared that it’s really happening and will be based on the DC comic book series Gotham City Sirens, which focuses on the lady villains in Batman’s world. Margot will executive produce and star as Harley Quinn and joining her will be Catwoman and Poison Ivy. Geneva Robertson-Dworet, who is working on the script for the Tomb Raider remake, will write the script for Gotham City Sirens.
DC has Wonder Woman and Justice League coming out in 2017. And in 2018, they will release Aquaman and possibly The Flash and the standalone Batfleck movie. Gotham City Sirens doesn’t have a release date yet, but THR says it’s been “fast-tracked.”
So, David Ayer is directing and instead of taking their sweet time with it, they’re putting it on the fast-track. Yeah, it’s going to be a dirty kitty litter box and poison ivy rash MESS, but if you throw Catwoman into any movie, I’ll throw my money at you. And I’ll liquidate all my assets (read: try to cash in an old Outback gift card I got years ago) and throw that money at DC if they put Joan Collins (as Siren) in it.
My pick for Catwoman in Gotham City Sirens is either Michelle Pfeiffer or Eartha Kitt’s ghost. And my pick for Poison Ivy is the only pick: Phoebe Price! Although, Chicken Cutlets also deserves her own character, a character who destroys her enemies with her shattering posing skills. Example: PP squatting over her dog for a Christmas-themed ho stroll shoot in L.A. a couple of weeks ago.
Pics: DC, Splash