This Is What Was Born When Kylie Jenner And Uncle Terry Joined Unholy Forces
And by “this,” I mean two things: extremely sophisticated portraits and a new kind of brain gonorrhea you’ll get while thinking about Terry Richardson slobbering from every orifice as he takes pictures of 19-year-old Kylie Jenner.
Since Kim Kartrashian is mostly sitting on the fame whore bench, it’s Kim Kartrashian 2.0’s job to keep her family’s signature brand of ho shit coming. So Kylie plumped up her balloon ass cheeks with helium, turned the dial that operates her eyes to DEAD and delivered all kinds of Instagram THOT poses. That mother/daughter picture above is truly touching. Kudos to humanized chloroform rag Uncle Terry for capturing Pimp Mama Krisssss in her true form. She’s never looked better.
If you’ve been looking for the perfect holiday gift for the fame whore-in-training in your life, Kylie Jenner’s 2017 calendar is already out. The pictures have leaked all over Instagram, and most of them look like backpage escort ads taken in a garage in front of a white bed sheet background. And I’m sure that’s exactly what Kylie and Uncle Terry were going for. I’ve burped up a few pics after the cut and you may want to look at them while listening to a song of your choice, because you’ll need something loud to drown out the sound of PMK screaming, “Work it, spread it, make it rain, bitch!”
February 2017
March 2017
April 2017
In this picture, her ass looks like two frozen and shellacked Butterballs in red netting, so it should be November, but it’s the centerfold.
August 2017, and please tell me that white stuff came from a tub of Duncan Hines frosting and not from Uncle Terry… I’m going to need to tilt my head and pour a gallon of liquid antibiotics into my ear, hoping that it’ll hit my brain.
October 2017
December 2017
Your retinas are most likely severely bruised from all of that klass and ass, so why not bruise them up all the way by watching Kim “koming out of hiding” to show Kylie how to really do dead eyes and charisma-less posing in an advent video for LOVE Magazine. Never mind that the plastic doll in the beginning looks more human-like than Kim, it was nice of her to include Khloe Kartrashian by wearing a coat made of wookie pubes.
Pic: Instagram