If you work at a Tiffany & Co. and you receive a call sometime today that sounds like: “Yar, ya smar dash a silver rattle tur runtun engraving, eh?“, don’t hang up and wonder if the smoothie you bought at lunch was laced with LSD. It’s just probably one of the Canadian cast members of Vikings trying to purchase a nice baby gift for their fellow co-star, Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Jonathan’s fiancée Mara Lane confirmed the news on Instagram yesterday by posting a picture of her going belly-to-belly with Santa Claus.
Just in case there was anyone misreading that chemistry between Mara and Santa, Mara later said in a separate Instagram post that Jonathan is the father. This will be both JRM and Mara’s first kid. She doesn’t say when she’s due, but my guess is: soon.
Jonathan’s life used to be in a bad, bad way. But he’s tried to get his shit together in recent years. In September he had a sobriety slip-up. Maybe Chet Haze can reach out to JRM and offer to mentor him in his Guys Who You Think Probably Shouldn’t Be Dads But Are Trying To Prove You Wrong club.
JRM and Mara’s baby will be a lucky baby. One, because it has a mommy who is friends with Paz de la Huerta, a person more knowledgeable and wise than 100 Dr. Seuss books. And two, because it will never have to worry about having a single nightmare. Being sung to sleep with a lullaby courtesy of Brian Slade’s liquid quaaludes voice sounds like a dream. If Baby Rhys Meyers is really lucky, his dad might also wear the pink wig.