Hot Slut Of The Day!

The angry dad who joined a mob of mad parents in protecting their kids from a crazed Santa Claus truther! 

My pro tip for this Monday morning is: Do not go to the mall until at least January. Or you know what, don’t ever go to the mall ever again. I made the mistake of going to the mall on Saturday, because I guess I was secretly in the mood to get my feet repeatedly ran over by a stroller. When I walked by the 49-hour-long line to pose with Santa Claus, I actually did wonder what would happen if I started screaming about how Santa isn’t real and was created by the toy companies. Those parents were already boiling over with frustration from standing in a never-ending line at the mall, so they were probably looking for a reason to lose it and would’ve ripped off a fake branch from a fake tree in Santa’s Village and beat my ass with it.

One Christmas-ruining pastor in Texas did what I only thought about doing. He declared war on Santa Claus by telling the kids at the mall that he wasn’t real. (Someone was asleep during Christian day school when the teachers taught the kids about Saint Nicolas and that someone was this crazy Texas pastor.) That mall must spit out Valium-laced air, because the parents managed to keep pretty calm and that pastor actually lived to post the messy clip on the internet.

HuffPo says that the evangelical Grinch named Pastor David Grisham recorded himself hollering out, “There is no such thing as Santa Claus,” at a bunch of children who were waiting to meet Santy at the Westgate Mall in Amarillo, TX. Crazy Pastor David wanted to let the children know that like hair on the top of his head, Santa doesn’t exist and Christmas is about the Baby Jesus!

While led by today’s heroic HSOTD, many parents told the Santa hater to suck a fat candy cane and keep his mouth shut. The pastor screamed that our HSOTD was assaulting him and I’m sure our HSOTD was thinking to himself, “Dude this is a warm hug compared to what I really want to do.”

Many screamed at the mall to ban the Santa hater, and they didn’t say that they would, but they said that anyone who doesn’t follow their code of conduct will be put on the curb.

I, for one, am waiting for the sequel where Santa Claus (read: that hero dad in a Santa suit) pays a visit to Pastor David’s church and screams, “There is no such thing as God!“