Presenting Natalie Portman’s Maternity Cape Glamour

December 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.

Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.

It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.

Katy Mixon literally wore a robe, and I love it. Katy is nothing if not a creative fashion visionary. She clearly went for Duchess RavenWaves from Lady Lovely Locks after losing her title and becoming the madame of a Southern cathouse.

The 22nd Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Arrivals

And then there’s Bella Thorne. Bella looks like she’s on her way to an interview with Katy Mixon. No, not as a hooker! As a manager, of course. That’s a business meeting look. She may want everyone to know she’s not wearing underwear, but she is strategically covering her crotch area. How downright modest!

22nd Annual Critics' Choice Awards

Here’s everyone else at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night. Tons of dresses and suits, and yet no one thought to come dressed as the critic of all critics, Jay Sherman? Weird.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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