Hot Slut Of The Day!

Michael from the video for Timex Social Club’s Rumors!

My name is Michael and I’m gayer than a pink-dyed Persian cat in a tiny blue sequined top hat. So if I got a dollar for every time someone asked, “Are you the Michael in that Rumors song?“, I’d have enough money to buy a hundred pink-dyed Persian cats in tiny blue sequined top hats.

Timex Social Club became a group in 1982 and four years later they released their debut album Vicious Rumors and on that album was the MEGA HIT of the 80s Rumors. Timex Social Club can still be booked for parties and festivals today, but shortly after Rumors took over the world, they broke up and stayed broken up for a while. They probably figured that there’s no way they could ever outdo the musical and visual masterpiece of the Rumors song and video.

In the video for Rumors, the tricks being rumored about are all cartoons and the one who really makes temperatures rise is Michael, who some say might be gay. They made sure that Michael was a giant cup of stereotype and I’m surprised that he doesn’t bend over and fart up glittery unicorns surfing on a rainbow wave with dick-shaped surfboards. But Michael is forty pounds of hotness in a two pound sack. He’s like a Rubenesque Hollywood from Mannequin and is working it from the tippity top of his hair to the tips of his pizza-slice shaped white freakum shoes. It’s as if Blac Chyna drag king’d it up as a Jackie Collins-infused Rob Kartrashian (and that is the only compliment I’ll ever give those two).

I don’t know why dude is trying to argue about Michael. Michael is gay and he’s every layer of YES!