I’m sure we all figured that the first musician to take a crack at a Christmas parody song about our current situation with President-elect Donald Trump might be Weird Al Yankovic or Alvin and The Chipmunks going through a rebellious phase, but it looks like it’s going to be…Fiona Apple?
Yesterday, Fiona Apple released a video on her Tumblr of herself singing a Trumpified version of the Nat King Cole holiday standard The Christmas Song. Posting a self-filmed cover song on Tumblr? I don’t care what age it says on Fiona Apple’s driver’s license; the spirit trapped insider her is clearly that of a 15-year-old. Fiona’s Christmas Song is slow and melancholy like the original, but instead of heartwarming yuletide images of roasted chestnuts and Jack Frost giving your face some temporary Botox, Fiona sings about entitlement and racism and Donald Trump “clawing at your clothes.”
Don’t hold my feet to the fire on this one, but I bet Fiona Apple filmed that in the airplane toilet of Blair Witch Airlines. I wish I could understand dogs, because I want to know what that dog in the background who won’t stop barking is trying to say. My guess is they’re trying to tell her to stop creeping people out and put some kibble in their dish, or to turn the damn phone 90 degrees and stop filming in portrait mode.
Donald Trump hasn’t responded to Fiona’s Christmas song yet. But I’m sure he’ll hop on Twitter just as soon as he decides between “Fiona Rotten Apple” or “Fiona, more like Fi-oh ma ears, that was just terrible.“