Madonna – she’s just like us! Except for the wanting to remarry Sean Penn part. Her being married to that guy once was enough for me… he screams at the microwave to go faster and the dogs are afraid of him. Madge’s twerking her possibly new ass beside junior cat person Ariana Grande the other night was but one saucy delight amongst many at her Art Basel benefit. She also brought back her latest stage creation, the trampy ladyclown with the drinking problem, to raise money and troll President-elect Donald Trump with the inadvertent help of Britney Spears. By the way, that’s Madge in the pic up top. Lisa Frank isn’t coming out with a horror movie.
People reports that Madonna auctioned off a bunch of her rare photographs, tour memorabilia and other celebrity-related prizes to raise money for the country of Malawi. There were a bunch of famous people in the audience and she brought her ex-husband Sean Penn up to help her sell shit, including a photo from their wedding taken by Herb Ritts. It sounded and looked (see the Instagram video below) as awkward as you might think. He crawled through her legs when he took the stage; there was a moment in which he handcuffed her (for which there might be a disturbing historical precedent), and she revealed (again) that she’s still in love with him. She also offered to remarry him if he bid $150,000. Charity is lovely, but yeesh, people must have been squirming in in their hugely expensive seats.
Much of the event was shared on social media, including a moment where Madonna offered to re-marry Penn if he bid $150,000.
“I’m still in love with you,” she told Penn — as seen in video on Frankel’s Snapchat.
Hat tip to reality television fixture Bethenny Frankel, who apparently scored a ticket to the event, then put it on Snapchat. People should hire her ass. She gets good footage!
Madge also poked fun at Sean’s police record as he handcuffed her (seriously, why):
“For once, he’s not the one being arrested,” she said.
The Huffington Post reports that Lady Madonna also flipped the bird to President-elect Trump while throwing shade at his thread count. She covered Britney’s “Toxic” while pictures of Trump flashed behind her.
Seated on a chair for most of the performance, Madonna cooed lyrics like “You know that you’re toxic,” while backdropped by a photo of Trump with a “Pinocchio” nose and quotes from the president-elect about building a wall.
She prefaced “Toxic” by revealing to the audience that she’s been in Trump’s bed in Miami. I retched at first, too, but she says he wasn’t there at the time. It was for a photo shoot and his sheets weren’t up to her standards. You can watch it below but be warned… she talks before it. A LOT.
The “Material Girl” revealed she had been in Trump’s bed before — though he wasn’t there. She was shooting a magazine spread, and said his sheets were cheap. “They won’t be Egyptian cotton because we all know how he feels about Muslims don’t we,” Madonna joked.
It sounds like it was a crazed night for a good cause. We all know that there’s no way in hell Madonna would remarry her ragey ex-husband, though. Despite being an abusive prick, he’s 56 years old and fairly gnarled. There’s no youth to succubus out of him to keep staving off the aging process. She’s getting older and needs all the lifeforce she can get, especially since she might have added “new ass upkeep” to the beauty regimen.