Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 4, 2016 / Posted by:

Moonies!

The 1980s are truly and whoreheartedly (typo an it stays) the most tasteful era of the 20th century and if anybody tells you otherwise, direct them to this shit. Back in the 80s, whenever anybody wanted to turn their vehicle into a chariot of pure class, they just sunctioned a Moonies to one of their car windows. Voila, instant class!

Like the classy car window decoration known as Suction Cup Garfield, Moonies brought entertainment and sophistication to every car window. Moonies looked like a cross between a fat Alice the Goon and a weirdly-shaped dick with shifty eyes drawn on it (yes, I’d still hit it). None of the kids I knew had parents who were connoisseurs of refined car decorations, so the only time I got to play Moonies was at a Spencer Gifts, or some shit. All you had to do was slap a Moonies on your car window and squeeze a bulb to moon a stupid asshole driver. In case you need a visual, a kind soul provided one on YouTube:

Now, whenever I want to let a shit¬†driver know how I feel, I prefer to use the old-fashioned method of flipping their asses off while cursing loud enough out of my opened window for them to hear. But I do love the thought¬†of rating another trick’s driving by simply squeezing a bulb. If Moonies could also scream out the words, “I’m memorizing your license plate and gonna turn your stupid piece of trash in, you cuntastic asshole,” it’d be perfect!

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