Joe “Thirst Trap” Jonas is all “whatever” about guys sending him pics of their junk. In fact, he’s so chill about it that one suspects he’s started a Pinterest board for himself called “Fan Cocks” just to keep all that dick organized. In an interview with PrideSource, “The One With The Band Who Doesn’t Act And Has The Biggest Dick” says that dudes direct message him with all sorts of stuff – but usually it’s peen. By the way, his brothers are “The One Who Seems Totally Gay, But Has A Wife And A Kid” and “The One Everybody Wishes Were Gay, But Nonetheless Keeps Putting It In Our Faces… The Big Gymbunny Tease.” And there’s your handy guide to the JoBros! “Dlisted: Classifying Celebrities For You Since 2005.”
I realize that this was an interview with a gay website so it’s skewed that way, but he comes off as SUPER GAY. Joe wants to sing with Barbra Streisand and has his onscreen love interest already picked out. Said love interest does not have a vagina. It’s all about dick with this one! You keep waiting for him to discuss his dildo collection.
What do gay men DM you?
I bet you could take a wild guess. (Laughs) It’s all over the map, from selfies to you-know-what. It’s funny, too, because you can’t really tell what people are sending because everything now is blurred out, and I like to read some of the DMs and hear stories. But, of course, sometimes there are crazy ones, and it’s just straight nudity. You have to just find something good in it – or laugh, depending on what it is.
I know I’m not that bright, but why would you send someone a blurred photograph of your penis? Is that for when you’re shy but still want them to know with how much rope they’ll be dealing? Pixellation can’t hide length (believe me, I’ve tried)! In other saucy, “too much information, but I’ve got a DNCE album to sell here” news, Joe revealed that he’d tried BDSM.
A song from your new album, “Be Mean,” is essentially about S&M. Tell me about your decision to be so sexually liberated in your music.
Some people say, “We finally can talk about these kinds of things, and we want to go wild and crazy,” but really, it’s just stuff we’re going through. I feel like I’m free in my life to speak about it, and yeah, everyone should try a little bit of something new in the bedroom. It’s definitely fun when you bring some whips and leather and whatever you may be into – a little bit of S&M – into the bedroom. I wrote it about me and someone I was getting wild with, and maybe (we) busted some outfits out – you know, you get a little crazy. It’s a fun song, and I hope people can have fun with it and learn from it.
This revelation might confirm a particular rumor about Joe that was floating around a couple of years back. Replace “whips and leather and whatever you may be into” with “paddles and dildos and a GoPro.” We also learned from this interview that he’s into “older, mature men.” Please note the quotes on that last one. I’m not clowning on him. That was all him.
You’ve also dabbled in acting. If you ever followed in your brother Nick’s footsteps and played gay, who’s on your shortlist of male romantic interests?
That’s a great question. I’d say for sure Daniel Craig. I think Matthew McConaughey is a hunk of a man. I’d have to go with George Clooney. Older, mature men.
I’m going to leave you with the fact that he also says he wants to collaborate with Babs. If he’s not a homosexual, then the cover art to the new DNCE album should just be a picture of his muscled ass with GAY DUDES BUY THIS tattooed across it.