As Jabba the Trump ate a fancy dinner with his rival-turned-ass kisser Mitt Romney (Note: In this picture of them, it looks like the laxatives Trump spiked in Mitt’s roasted crow cake just kicked in and Trump is fapping over the thought of it.), the reigning President of Pantsuits, Hillary Clinton, laughed to keep from crying (aren’t most of us?) while honoring Katy Perry at the 12th Annual UNICEF Snowflake Ball in NYC last night. Katy nearly campaigned her magnificent chichis off for HRC, but if I was HRC, I would’ve unfriended her ass as soon as she dressed up like a Hills Have Eyes version of me for Halloween.
Katy has been a UNICEF ambassador since 2013 and has raised over $1 million for them. So they thanked her by giving her the Audrey Hepburn Humanitarian Award last night. HRC presented Katy with the award. Katy’s man and her naked paddle board chauffeur Orlando Bloom got that same award last year. Katy, who recently wore a ring on her “Look At Me I’m Either Engaged Or Getting That Pap Attention” finger, said these riveting words about Orlando to E! News last night:
“It’s so funny: He was the previous award recipient, He’s just got the most kind heart ever.”
See, this is why I’m not an E! News reporter, because I’d throw Katy an eyelash-burning side-eye and say, “Bitch, who cares about his heart. Tell us about that dick. Grower, shower or somewhere in between?” As a humanitarian, it’s Katy’s job to give something to us needy peen lovers.
And here’s more of Katy Perry who went full on with the snowflake theme. She’s wearing the kind of tasteful gown that a dusty ole’ drag queen would wear while playing the title role in a no-budget community theater production of The Snow Queen. It also kind of looks like a man fairy busted a fiber optic load on her chichis. In other words, I love it!