The vocal cords of the Directioners just barely fully healed from hollering out screams of rage over Louis Tomlinson knocking up a trick, and now their vocal cords are going to get jacked up again, because another yodeling One Direction twink is going to be a daddy.
Cheryl Ann Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini (who is just going by Cheryl now, Cheryl Tiegs is not amused) and Liam Payne first met when he was just 14 and she was 24. He auditioned for The X-Factor and she was a judge at the time. They are the Celine Dion and Renee Angélil of their time. Cheryl and Liam started doing each other full-time earlier this year, and a few months ago, it was first rumored that his 23-year-old dick shot out the jizz load that knocked her 33-year-old ass up. And at the St. James Christmas Carol Concert in London tonight, Cheryl pretty much 100% confirmed that she’s got a One Direction baby growing in her womb when she showed up looking like a baby is growing in her womb. A source (aka an intern with eyes that can see) tells E! News that Cheryl is pregnant and in her second trimester.
This baby will be the first for both Cheryl and Liam, who was a baby himself about 10 minutes ago.
So I guess, Cheryl from Girls Aloud making a baby with Liam from One Direction is the modern-day equivalent of one of the Backstreet Boys knocking up one of the Spice Girls? Naw, the news of a Backstreet Spice Baby would’ve cracked the earth in two. And hopefully when Cheryl gives birth, the nurse will gently whisper this into the baby’s ear: “Whatever you do, don’t look at your mom’s back. Spare your young, innocent eyes from the pain, child!”