Ed Sheeran almost got interesting earlier this month when he took a sword right to the face. Britain’s chastest pop star was hanging out with Princess Beatrice, James Blunt, and his girlfriend (maybe wife?) Cherry Seaborn at the Princess’s palace when James suggested that he’d like to be knighted. Wacky hijinks ensue!
The Sun reports:
James played along with the prank and got down on one knee as he would if he were at Buckingham Palace being honoured by The Queen. Beatrice, who was in great form, held the sword above him and said ‘arise Sir James’, just like her nan would at the Palace. But she must have misjudged the weight or something and, instead of lightly tapping him on the shoulder, she swung it back, not knowing Ed was standing right behind her.
I’m guessing the Princess Bea not only didn’t realize that Ed was standing right behind her, she probably forgot he was even there. I know people love this guy, but he seems like the type of dude that gets lost in the crowd fairly easily. I imagine that before he got famous his Facebook profile photo was just him in the distant background of someone else’s selfie.
The report continues:
The blade cut into his face and it was just a few inches from his right eye. A couple of the guests said it could have been worse and he could have been blinded in the eye but Ed really played it down … However it became apparent that the wound needed treatment so Ed was taken to hospital. He had to have stitches put in.
Hahahahahaaa. The poor little sweaty ginger hobbit is such a gentle soul that he once trashed a hotel room and then got a case of the Sads and cleaned it up. So this is about the most xMETALx thing Ed has ever been involved in and it still involves a princess, a castle, a sword, and James Blunt (AKA personified Zzzz-Quil).
The Sun was also kind enough to remind us of the last time Ed was involved in some sword-fighting fuckery. Fortunately, it involved Sheeran BFFAE (Best Friends Forever AND EVER) Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, it didn’t end in stitches this time.
He confessed in 2013 he almost injured Taylor Swift with one which was given to him by Lord of The Rings director Peter Jackson. The pair, who have toured together, were travelling on country superstar Swift’s private jet when tragedy almost struck. Ed said: “It’s a real sword … The plane is taking off, it was on the table and started sliding down. I was like, ‘No! It’s just about to impale Taylor’.”
Just imagine if Taylor Swift got impaled with a sword on Ed Sheeran’s plane. I don’t want her to be mortally wounded or anything, but holy shit it would be amazing to have a T-Swift album about getting run-through by a Lord of the Rings sword instead of her usual notebook doodles about Starbucks and boys. Ed really stifled an artist’s creativity on this one.