Every time I stare deep into the exquisitely-crafted and made up face of humanized German rhinestone Harald Glööckler, I see Jesus riding a solid gold unicorn as cholita angels queef out tons of fucking sequins around him. So it is absolutely fitting that one of my favorite HSOTDs and Germany’s answer to Liberace get his own bible cover.
Harald slipped his most opulent Sweet Secrets rings onto his perfectly manicured fingers, glued on his finest felt beard, did his lips up like a horny angel’s poon and touched up his holy brows with a tattoo gun to attend the launch of his decorative bible cover at a church in Berlin last week. My Catholic abuelita would slap my face with an entire chancelta store for saying this, but I have to say it, because it’s the truth. Harald’s opulent bible cover is the sole reason for why the bible exists!!!!!!
That cover looks like something Prince would come up with using Lisa Frank’s most skilled graphic designers. You don’t even need to read the bible anymore, because that gorgeous cover will give you several thousand doses of spirituality. That cover will make your b-hole sing out, “Hallelujah!”
My personal bible is Jackie Collins’ Hollywood Wives, so I am really hoping that Harald’s decorative cover comes in paperback size.