The FBI Has Closed Its Child Abuse Investigation On Brad Pitt

November 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt must be saying a thank you prayer to the stoner gods today, because CNN says the FBI is no longer investigating his alleged drunk dad plane fight with Maddox Jolie-Pitt.

Shortly after we learned that Brad allegedly turns into Jack Torrance from The Shining when he drinks a lot, there was talk that the FBI was looking into that messy plane situation. Then the FBI wasn’t going to investigate. Then it was reported that the FBI decided to ask Angelina Jolie a few questions regarding what happened. Then the word was that they asked Angelina four hours worth of questions. Well, the back and forth business of Brad vs. the FBI is officially over. A spokesperson for the FBI’s Los Angeles bureau confirmed on Tuesday that they’ve closed their investigation. They released this statement:

“In response to allegations made following a flight within the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States which landed in Los Angeles carrying Mr. Brad Pitt and his children, the FBI has conducted a review of the circumstances and will not pursue further investigation. No charges have been filed in this matter.”

The Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services decided two weeks ago that Brad isn’t an on-the-low abusive dad. So it looks like Brad is in the clear. Angelina still reportedly has primary physical custody of the children, with Brad having “therapeutic” visits.

It only took two months, but Brad is now off the hook with DCFS and the FBI. Does this mean Angelina Jolie has to lay off her Brad-bashing dream team now? Not this close to the holidays! Maybe she can find them something to do for the next month or so to avoid laying them all off before Christmas. Get on it, Angie! Keep ’em busy!

Here’s Brad and Marion Cotillard recycling their mannequin poses from the London premiere of Allied at the Madrid premiere of Allied last night.


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