Seen above doing a big boy bicep flex right before nap time, Justin Bieber is back at it again with his exhausting and well–documented hatred of his fans. Last night, the little twerp was on his way to perform in Barcelona when one of those deranged Beliebers tried to get too handsy with the goods and stuck his hand in Bieby Boy’s window. Well, Justin had to keep up his brand (which is “shithead Canadian toddler with rabies“) so he took off his Fisher-Price rings, gently tugged his Osh-Kosh leather driving gloves, and slapped his manliest punch.
Video via TMZ:
The best part of this whole thing is the aftermath. A bunch of Spanish girls and the odd mom or two are milling around, trying to come down from the major high of being so close to their idol, when he busts through in a huff. Now, I don’t speak any non-food Spanish because I grew up in small-town New York and I don’t care to study anything that has real-world practical applications, but I’m going to assume that the exquisitely-browed lioness one is saying: THAT BITCH! That bitch scratched my face! I’ll claw her fucking eyes out! This is my blood oath!
At first no one seems to notice our hero-in-hysterics is bleeding from his mouth so they just kind of ignore him. Watching him try to get everyone’s (anyone’s!) attention for a couple seconds got a big HAHA from me this morning.
Some people are saying that in Spain it’s more common to touch and be touched, but I think the language of batshit insane fans is basically universal. Let’s not forget that in Brazil there are over 100 people taking shifts so that they can camp out for FIVE MONTHS to see him. And since he’s the ultimate fan-hating brat, I would bet my good ovary on him pulling some kind of tantrum about this very shortly.
But hey, after you get punched by Justin Bieber I think there’s some kind of cosmic blessing that gets bestowed on you. It’s either a cosmic blessing or a decently sized paycheck, I can never remember which one.