Buzzfeed tells me that these are pictures of 100% real firefighters from the New Taipei Fire Department’s 2017 calendar. A rep for the fire department gave Buzzfeed a hilarious statement and I love the way he describes nipple tingling pictures of hot, sweaty, dirty firefighters getting wet and working a hose. They really are protecting citizens, because how can a fire break out when coochie cream is splattering all over the place?
A spokesperson for the fire department told BuzzFeed News the photos aim to show the professionalism, determination, and charm of the firefighters, who are dedicated to protecting citizens and their safety.
These pictures are actually pretty dangerous and I’m sure the rate of daily fraudulent calls will rise by 10,000%. Operators will have to be trained to ask, “Miss, do you mean an actual cat?”, when hard-up whores call about how their pussy needs to be rescued.
Speaking of thirsty bitches, I will be guzzling down anything that’s mind-numbing and nibbling on vodka-infused turkey on Thanksgiving with family in Denver this year. So because I’m spending my Skanksgiving in the land of fully legal weed and Casa Bonita, I’ll be on semi-vacation mode for the rest of the week. Allison will be around. Helping her and me, will be one of our new guest bloggers. Sadly, Penelope didn’t work, but we’ve got Krista to help us. Krista is from Texas and she won points when she attached a headshot to her application and the headshot was a picture of Joan Crawford. Krista may need a minute to get fully comfortable in this smegma gutter we call Dlisted. Krista will also fill in for Allison, who will be out for vacation, next week.
Oh, and did I say I was going to Denver? I’m really flying off to New Taipei where I’ll set my pants on fire in hopes that one of these hot real firefighters puts it out with his hose. What’s the number to 911 there?
Pics: New Taipei Fire Department via Buzzfeed