Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Joe Chandler, the man from Georgia who claims that he’s blissfully going through life without knowing who won the election.

Here I was thinking that every living thing in this country knows how the election went. My Chihuahua has been digging more holes than usual in the backyard, so I’m guessing he’s trying to get the hell out of this bitch. I told him not to bother straining his paws by digging. He’s Mexican, so his ass is leaving this bitch in La Migra’s paddy wagon. But apparently, there’s one living thing in this country who claims that the news of the election haven’t penetrated his brain yet.

Joe Chandler of Brunswick, GA tells the Today show that on election night, he watched the results go down with friends and all of the finger-gnawing and nerve-breaking madness caused him to say “fuck it” and he left without finding out who won the electoral college. When he woke up the next morning, he decided to wait until the afternoon to find out the results and that stretched out to two weeks, and now he’s trying to spare his soul for as long as possible.

Joe is an artist/writer who works at home and whenever he goes out, he keeps his eyes away from magazines and newspapers and wears headphones and a sign begging people not to tell him. Joe told Fox5 Atlanta that he’s happily whistling along through life while living in his harmonious dome of beautiful ignorance.

“Having subtracted myself from this political fracas and all of the mayhem of the digital media, I kind of found the center of the cyclone, it is very peaceful in my bubble of ignorance.”

And he also told Atlanta’s WXIA that he’s basically planning to spend the next four years covering his ears while shouting, “La la la la la la la don’t tell me la la la la la,” but he knows he’ll probably find out sooner rather than later. Joe also won’t say who he was rooting for.

I can believe a lot of things (like Tupac faked his death, Avril Lavigne was replaced with an actress, the Tooth Fairy is real and gives the teef of the children to government scientists who use them to make clones of kids to do experiments on), but I can’t believe that Joe doesn’t know that we’re not under the control of a toad’s doody bubble. Joe probably knows who won but is choosing to peacefully float in the River of Denial for as long as possible. Joe is going to try to stay a sweet summer child forever! So yeah, when we’re all fighting in the revolution, he’ll be the one in headphones and a blindfold who’s happily singing Don’t Worry, Be Happy to himself.

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