Greetings, I’m Krista and I’ll be your new filler queen for this season of Michael K’s Dlisted. Since Michael and Allison occasionally want to take a break from staring red-eyed into a computer screen to attend to their “real” “lives,” I’ll be popping in and out to make sure the Dlisted mission statement (whatever that is) is kept up. So without further ado, let’s get to the hard-hitting Dennis Rodman news of the hour.
The Los Angeles Times reports that Dennis Rodman has been charged for the crimes detailed in his July arrest. In case you’re like me, and your brain does a helpful Force Quit flusheroo on most Rodman news, let me refresh your memory: some time this past July, Dennis Rodman was completely sober and of 100% sound mind and body and somehow found himself going the wrong way in a highway carpool lane.
NBC News has the details:
… The Orange County District Attorney’s Office accused Rodman, 55, of driving north in the southbound lane of Interstate 5 shortly after midnight on July 20. Rodman drove his SUV head-on toward a sedan, causing the car to swerve and crash into concrete dividing wall, prosecutors said.
Rodman then fled the scene, prosecutors said, but later provided false “verbal accounts” to investigating officers from the California Highway Patrol.
He was also accused of driving without a license and he faces up to 2 years in prison.
So, granted, this is a really snooze-worthy story for a guy who is friends with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un — or really any dictator, I would guess. I’m old enough to remember when he was the wild-haired gender-funk basketball star who somehow snagged the hottest ladies of the 90s and was suspiciously missing from the finest film of a generation: Space Jam. What I’m saying is: the man has a legacy. (A legacy which also includes Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, and ~yes~ President-elect Donald Trump’s The Apprentice.)
But Dennis has really dropped the Menace factor by about 150% over the last few years. And he’s teaching us all valuable lessons in the process! When someone finally hauls my ass in for being a hateful goon online and in person, I will remember this day and thank the Rod-Man. I wasn’t “gossiping” I was “providing false verbal accounts” and I WILL see you in court.