Kanye West’s Saint Pablo Tour was supposed to continue scooting through the country for the next six weeks, but that’s not going to happen anymore. The remaining dates have all been canceled and TMZ says that it’s because he’s suffering from exhaustion. What a coincidence! Kanye is exhausted and many of his fans are also exhausted from him ranting instead of rapping at his shows.
No Kanye show is complete without one of his nonsensical sermons, but during the past two shows, it seems like something was really going on with him. During a show in San Jose, CA on Thursday night, Kanye regularly stopped performing to speak words and he repeatedly licked Donald Trump’s barbecued squash blossom asshole. And during his tour’s stop in Sacramento on Saturday night, the one-time team leader of the Beyhive turned on the hive when he talked shit about Beyonce before dropping the mic and quitting the show after only 3 songs. Ticketmaster issued refunds to everyone at the Sacramento show, and now they’ll have to issue refunds to anyone who bought a ticket for a future show.
Kanye’s show in L.A. last night was dropped into the shit-can just three hours before doors were supposed to open, and this morning, his rep tells Pitchfork that the rest of the dates have got into the shit-can too. The Saint Pablo tour was supposed to end on New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn. TMZ’s source (which at this point, is TMZ talk for “Pimp Mama Kris“) says that Kanye is suffering from the celebrity disease called exhaustion.
“He’s just exhausted. He’s been working around the clock on fashion design, both his own line and the Adidas line. All the time spent away from his family has been a stress on him as well. They are most important to him.”
Many think that Kanye is having some kind of complete mental breakdown and I didn’t totally think that until I read that he misses spending time with his family. Because if I was Kanye, I’d tour for the rest of eternity if it kept me from having to listen to those nasally-voiced fame whore hyenas (whoreyenas?) whine about how Vetements is all out of $6,000 gold nipple thimbles while slowly chewing on an ugly-looking salad in a plastic container.
But really, they shouldn’t have canceled Kanye’s shows. They should’ve just replaced him with Snoop Dogg doing live commentary while watching video of Kanye going off:
Since Kanye is taking a break from getting those headlines, Kim has to pick up the slack and tonight, she’s showing her Silly Putty face at an event for the first time since getting reportedly robbed in Paris. Kanye isn’t expected to be her date, because he’s got more important things to do like post more blurry fashion pics on Instagram and practice sign language. Kanye did an interview with Surface where he said that in the near future, ear drums will be spared from his rants, because everyone is going to communicate through sign language and emojis.
I don’t think people are going to talk in the future. They’re going to communicate through eye contact, body language, emojis, signs. Imagine that. If everyone was forced to learn sign language.
When I was a kid, I’d see people who only spoke sign language and think, Wow, that’s gotta be difficult. I was really happy I could speak. Now, I would prefer to [West pantomimes someone signing], do that without having to use words. It’s funny because I’ve made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say.
Imagine Kanye going off while doing sign language? His fingers would move so fast that they’d eventually develop muscle and look like The Rock’s arms. And now that I think about it, having buff fingers would make solo fingers-in-the-booty fun a million times better. I see you, Kanye!