Last night, Chelsea Handler attended an event called Gala for the Children, which sounds like the pretentious way Gwyneth Paltrow would describe a kid’s birthday party but is actually a charity event. Chelsea was there to introduce her friend, celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser. Laura was being recognized for her charity work with children, and Chelsea was there because she’s had Laura on her show a couple times. Laura also just so happens to be representing “fucking lunatic” (copyright: Chelsea Handler) Angelina Jolie in her divorce from Brad Pitt. You already know where this is going.
TMZ posted a video of Chelsea’s introduction of Laura, and she took the time to roast Brad and Angelina’s divorce situation until it was nice and crusty. She also slapped a little at Mel Gibson and Nick Lachey, but her heart was fluttering the fastest when she was dragging Brad and Angelina.
In case you can’t watch the video, here’s where Chelsea comes for her two favorite people.
“She’s very dynamic, she’s very principled, and she’s a very accomplished human being. She’s such a humanitarian, she’s actually currently negotiating Brad Pitt’s emancipation. Speaking of kids that need help…”
Chelsea’s hate for Angelina is bound to backfire on her one day. Angelina’s got the real-life Olivia Pope on her side. One of these days, Angelina is going to start plotting with the real-life Olivia Pope to take down Chelsea. First they’ll go to every liquor store and weed dealer in Los Angeles and warn them not to sell to Chelsea. Then they’ll lure Chelsea’s dogs Chunk and Tammy over to the dark side with promises of unlimited half-eaten McDonalds scraps courtesy of Angelina’s kids. When Chelsea’s spirit is fully broken (aka 3 days with no weed), Angelina will toss her head back and cackle: “You messed with the wrong fucking lunatic! Mwahahahaha!”