Kate Upton’s Man Didn’t Win Some Award So She Went Off

November 17, 2016 / Posted by:

God bless the big-tittied blonde model that IS Kate Upton for fighting for what’s really important in this country. Just so we’re all clear, Kate Upton thinks it’s wrong and disrespectful for anyone to protest against racism in this country by kneeling down during the national anthem. But Kate Upton thinks it’s okay to curse out baseball writers over the illegal INJUSTICE of her baseball-playing man losing an award.

Kate’s fiancé Justin Verlander (the derpy Josh Groban-looking dude on the right) of the Detroit Tigers lost the Cy Young Award to Rick Porcello of the Boston Red Sox even though he technically got the most 1st place votes. The Cy Young Award is given each year to the best pitchers of Major League Baseball. Wikipedia says that the way it works is that each member of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America chooses their fifth, second, third, fourth and fifth place pitcher. Each place is worth a score. First place is worth 7 points, second is worth 4, etc… Justin Verlander got 14 first place votes, while Rick got 8. But when all of the points were totaled up, Rick ended up with 137 points and Justin ended up with 132. The player with the most points wins, so Justin Verlander was told to sashay away to second place. Kate did what Donald Trump did after the 2012 election: she shit on the system. She also shit on Rick and the Baseball Writers’ Association of America. Kate embarrassed herself more than she did while trying to “act” in that The Other Woman.

Kate spit at tricks who disagreed with her. And her brain also wet farted up a theory. Dear Tampa Bay writers, Detective Kate Upton can smell that dirty money in your wallets!

I know I’m the last trick who should come for someone’s spelling mistakes, but that last tweet… Kate makes it so easy. Kate really thought she dropped a caca ball on a bitch, only that caca ball bounced off of him and hit her in the face.

The Boston Herald asked Rick Porcello for his thoughts on Kate’s tweetarrhea stream of rage, and he shrugged and poured a glass of wine.

“No. I honestly don’t care. I’m not the one that made that decision as far as who wins the Cy Young. All I know is I’ve got a lot of people around me right now that I love very much and have been instrumental in my success in getting to this point, and on top of that we’ve got some really good bottles of wine that still need to be drank. There’s not really a concern in my mind. You know, it is what it is. The decision was made and those are decisions that we don’t get paid to make. We just get paid to throw the ball and try and win games and try and win a World Series.”

We should all be with Kate, because these are definitely the most depressing, disappointing and frustrating election results this year. We need to think of the millionaire baseball players. So let’s all re-direct every protest to the MLB headquarters and change our signs to read, “Rick Porcello Is Not My Cy Young Award Winner!

Pic: Wenn.com

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