Shelley Duvall’s last acting role was in a 2002 movie called Manna From Heaven and she retired from Hollywood right after making it. The National Enquirer said a few years ago that Shelley was living in Blanco, TX and was seriously suffering from mental illness. Shelley’s neighbors supposedly said that they’ve seen her shuffle around town and talk to herself about the aliens that are living in her body. (“Hmmm, why does that sound familiar?” said anybody who’s read about Scientology.) Shelley allegedly thought that a hole in her backyard was a portal to another dimension and believed she could communicate with the aliens by flashing her car lights. Shelley has been THROUGH. IT. Well, I guess the smarmy rotten egg we all call Dr. Phil doesn’t think that she’s been through enough, because he got her to look at his punchable face for a long period of time while interviewing her.
Shelley is on Friday’s Dr. PhuckedUp and the show burped up a preview where she says that her Popeye co-star Robin Williams is alive and is a shape-shifter and that the Sheriff of Nottingham has been threatening her. Shelley says in the clip that she needs help, and the smug potato says to her, “Well, that’s why I’m here.” Dr. Phil is really there for the ratings, but in his defense, when someone says the word “help” he hears the word “exploit,” so he’s telling the truth.
I’ve been waiting and waiting for a Shelley Duvall comeback, but this is not what I had in mind. But you know, we’ve been living in the Upside Down and so anything can happen. Maybe Dr. PhullOfShit will cause us all to throw up out of shock and he’ll actually help Shelley. Maybe in a year we’ll be able to say that Dr. Phil was good for something when Faerie Tale Theatre is brought back and Shelley will be doing this again: