Jonathan Knight of New Kids on the Block declared yesterday that he and his man are promised to be married. And on today’s Ellen, Ricky Martin declares that he and his Venti cup full of Syrian-born hotness of a man are promised to be married too. I hope this trend of middle-aged former boy banders getting engaged to a sexy piece of man meat continues and one of my favorite boy band pieces Devin Lima of LFO (it’s the brows) comes out as gay and a nudist and shares naked pictures of he and his man getting engaged on a nudist colony. After these couple of weeks, you owe me this, universe!
Ricky made two announcements on Ellen yesterday. Ricky announced that soon, he will be thrusting his crotch and swaying his shit for drunk bitches during his residency at the Monte Carlo Resort & Casino in Las Vegas. Ricky also announced that he and his boyfriend of almost a year, visual artist Jwan Yosef, are engaged. They started bumping nips earlier this year after meeting when Ricky bought some of Jwan’s art. Ricky, who is raising twins, says he’s the one who did the proposing:
“We just got engaged…. I proposed. I was really nervous. But I got on my knees and I took out, not a box, I just had them in a little velvet pouch. Instead of saying, ‘Will you marry me?’ I said, ‘I got you something!’ I said, ‘I want to spend my life with you.’ And he was like, ‘What is the question?’ [I said] ‘Would you marry me?’ It was very beautiful and thirty minutes after I said, ‘Wait, did you say yes?’ Yes, he said yes.”
So, there’s Ricky on one knee with a velvet pouch in his hand and his man asks, “What is the question?” Ricky’s heart and genitals must have it bad for Jwan, because I would’ve bitched him out. I mean, I’m on one knee with a velvet pouch in my hand. What the hell do you think I’m going to ask you? Do you think I’ve got a tiny bottle of Crown Royal in that velvet pouch and going to ask you if you want a drink? Watch more movies, Jwan!
And here’s pictures from September of Ricky and Jwan on vacation in Ibiza. My eyeballs nearly bunjee jumped out of my sockets from straining them so hard while trying to find a peen print in their bulges.