Sexy human cigarette (don’t judge me) Billy Bob Thornton recently reminded everyone that he’s still friendly with Angelina Jolie. He also moistened her ego a bit by saying he never felt “good enough” for her because she was such a saint. I figured that was Billy Bob’s way of dropping hints that he’s on Team Angelina in the dramatic divorce to end all dramatic celebrity divorces. But it sounds like that’s not the case at all.
Billy Bob recently admitted during an interview with Playboy that he’d love to see the words “…starring Billy Bob Thornton and Brad Pitt” on a movie poster.
“This might surprise people, but I’d love to do a movie with Brad Pitt. I think we’d be great together. We’d play a good couple of Southern guys. We grew up not far from each other, me in Arkansas, him in Missouri. We come from the same thing. Brad does a very good Southern character. There was a little movie this year called Hell or High Water, about two brothers who are bank robbers in Texas. Now, the guys who starred in it were around 35, which is natural. But Brad and I could do our own version of a Southern heist thriller.”
I would love to see 61-year-old Billy Bob and 52-year-old Brad star in a Southern heist thriller. Both of them just twing-twanging for two hours, robbing banks to pay for their bursitis medication and that Camaro they’ve been looking at on Kijiji and a nice little place in Daytona Beach close to the racetrack.
Billy Bob also elaborated a little further on that whole “I wasn’t good enough for Angelina” thing. Billy Bob and Angelina’s blood-vial of love dried up after 3 years. Billy Bob says he figured that they could have lasted five more years, but he “blew it” before they could exchange his n’ hers ceramic dildos on their pottery anniversary.
“I always felt beneath her, and if you’re living a life with someone you feel you’re beneath, that’s not good for either of you. Angie and I are still friends. That won’t ever go away. We don’t talk on a regular basis; sometimes I won’t see her for five years. But I offer. I know she’s been through a lot. ‘If you ever need to talk, if you ever need anything…’ She knows that. She’s a great person. And she’s one of the people who didn’t abandon me. She never has.”
Billy Bob probably shouldn’t expect too many friendly catch-up phone calls from Angelina Jolie any time soon. Once she reads that he wants to work with the enemy, he’s in trouble. One of her divorce minions will put Billy Bob’s name at the top of her possible traitors list while another sends him a drawing of an angry dragon tattoo with a little speech bubble that says “Consider this your first and only warning.”
Here’s a cleaned-up Billy Bob at the premiere of Bad Santa 2 in NYC last night.