Abby Wambach Is Now Getting On A Christian Mom Blogger

November 14, 2016 / Posted by:

When I read that Abby Wambach is with a Christian mom blogger, the voice inside my head screaming the words, “Please let it be Anna Duggar,” was so loud that I think I have a few more cracks on my skull. But it’s not Anna Duggar.

Glennon Doyle Melton, an activist, Christian mom blogger and author of bestsellers like Love Warrior (not to be confused with the memoir I keep waiting for, God Warrior), announced in a Facebook message that three months after divorcing her now ex-husband Craig Melton, she has found herself in love with two-time Olympic gold medal-winning soccer star Abby Wambach.

Glennon spends most of her post gushing from every orifice and pore about her potent love for Abby. Glennon has never felt a love like this. Glennon writes that her ex Craig is cool with it, he’s dating too. Their children are cool with it too and call Abby M&M, “because she looks tough on the outside but inside she’s really mushy and sweet.

Glennon says that everyone in her life, including members of her church, love Abby too. Glennon doesn’t say exactly when Abby first started kicking Ben Wa Balls into the goal on her crotch (I obviously know how lesbian sex works), but she makes it clear that she now knows the meaning of love. She is fully coochmatized and loving it.

Abby’s brave. Not just with her words but with her entire being. She has never been afraid to be herself, even when the world told her not to be. I learn from her everyday about the woman I want to become. She is committed to her friends and family. She has this sense of country and honor and chivalry that feels beautiful to me. She cares about the vulnerable- children and animals especially. She’s unwaveringly good to Craig, to the kids, to Sister and to all my people. And oh my God, she is so good to me. She loves me for all the things I’ve always wanted to be loved for. She’s just my favorite. My person.

Remember in Love Warrior how hard I struggled to understand what being in love meant?
I get it now.
I get it.
I am in love.
And I’m really, deeply happy.

In September, Abby announced that she and her wife of 3 years Sarah Huffman are getting a divorce. You can read Glennon’s full declaration of love for Abby here.

If you’re like me, then after reading the whole thing, your one major question was probably: “The HELL kind of M&Ms are her kids eating?” If Glennon’s kids got those really mushy M&Ms for Halloween, they need to go back to the house from which they got them from and demand a refund! The neighbor probably gave them old M&Ms that have been sitting in a box years. That ain’t right. And yes, those of us focusing on mushy M&Ms have a gift for focusing on the really important things.

Pic: Facebook

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