Canary Chad From “Finding Prince Charming” Tore Into The Prince On Instagram

November 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Finding Prince Charming was the Logo network’s version of The Bachelor. The only difference being that “the bachelor” in this case is Robert Sepúlveda Jr., a gay dude looking for other dudes. You could consider it a success in that it proved to the viewers at home that gay guys en masse could and can be just as demented, thirsty and messy as any other reality television social grouping. Then again, it was Logo, so there were probably only (a few) gay guys watching. And we already knew that.

One of the more interesting Finding Prince Charming contestants was Chad Spodick. Chad is a young real estate agent from NYC who seemed to lack the emotional equipment necessary to take part in a reality show dating competition. Either that or the editors decided to make him “the batshit crazy one.” Chad was forever crying and referencing conspiracies against him, referring to “canaries” who were whispering negative things about him to Prince Charming behind his back. In his defense, there were a few, but everyone was doing that to everyone. But yeah, he had a canary fixation. You expected Tweety Bird to pop up to tell him to cut the shit.

Well, Chad didn’t make it to the finale. In fact, he had his final on-camera meltdown at the end of the sixth episode. Hurling his black tie down (don’t ask, it’s silly) and storming off, he admitted that he might have had a “nervous breakdown” due to Prince Charming being “disingenuous.” Well, it looks like his opinion hasn’t changed. The show is over and they’ve had the inevitable final reunion episode with Chad still feeling salty. Chad took his canister of Morton’s Salt to Instagram and wrote a lloonnnggg post about “Prince Charming.” Let’s drink some tea!

Chad claims that the prince is still hooking! (Oh, did I mention that Sepúlveda Jr. confirmed to People that he’s worked as an escort? He did. Oh, who hasn’t? Look, my car needed new brake pads. We’ve all been there.)

How about being authentic that you’re still hooking. It’s been proven many times that you are.

Chad claims that the prince isn’t an “interior designer” as he claims to be!

Also branding yourself as an “interior designer” when we all know that is a completely, and poorly, manufactured FAKE business, I mean, your portfolio speaks for itself.

Chad claims that the prince is a thief!

How about coming clean that you embezzled over $40K from the Atlanta rainbow crosswalks project. I just happen to be friends with some of the donors. They want their money back! I just happen to be friends with some of the donors. They want their money back! Also, stealing Rolex’s off the nightstand of your hookups.

Chad claims that the prince wants Tina to eat the cake!

How about being authentic about the fact that you have physically abused your partners in every relationship that you have had, including and not limited to launching blunt objects at their head, like a computer.

Oh, and there’s more. You can read the whole rant below or go here. In closing, Chad is insinuating that Robert Sepúlveda Jr. is what would happen if Hitler got knocked up by Satan. The best part is that Chad closes with: “Peace out you sociopathic ho!” That’s how I’m going to end things the next time a cashier hands me my change ON TOP of the bills in my hand, so it rolls to either side of my palm and drops onto the counter and then the floor (I hate that.)

On a more personal note, I work with someone at my day job who is friends with Chad in real life. He claims that Chad is a sweet, regular, down-to-earth guy who didn’t start babbling about canaries and melting down on social media until he went on a reality television show. Can we agree that reality television ruins lives? And countries?

Reunion Recap.. I just have to get this off my chest. Since the word “authentic” was used so many times on the show Finding Prince Charming by that fraud of a bachelor. I think it’s time that someone takes heed to their own advice. How about being authentic that you’re still hooking. It’s been proven many times that you are. Also branding yourself as an “interior designer” when we all know that is a completely, and poorly, manufactured FAKE business, I mean, your portfolio speaks for itself. How about coming clean that you embezzled over $40K from the Atlanta rainbow crosswalks project. I just happen to be friends with some of the donors. They want their money back! Also, stealing Rolex’s off the nightstand of your hookups. How about being authentic about the fact that you have physically abused your partners in every relationship that you have had, including and not limited to launching blunt objects at their head, like a computer. How about being authentic about the fact that you actively pursued me, Brandon, Eric and Paul right after the show wrapped. How about being authentic about seeing your Johns just before and AFTER the show finalized shooting. Oh, and last but definitely not least, how about that time you pursued me a DAY after you were with Eric to try and hook up with me in Chicago during market days after saying you were not with anyone. Just to be very clear, none of us knew about Roberts past and consequently, his present about being a rent boy. Here’s a lovely pic of Robert and I at Market Days in Chicago. For the record, he tried to sleep with me. But even then, without knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t go near that science experiment. And by science experiment I’m talking about his penis. I insisted that we should just cuddle. Stop LYING! Peace out you sociopathic ho! #realtalk #thetruth #exposed

A photo posted by Chad Aaron S (@absolutelychad) on

Here’s Prince Charming and one of his subjects explaining why the show is culturally significant. Or something.

Pic: Instagram

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