St. Angie Jolie Is Sharpening Her Shank And Is Ready To Go To War With Brad Pitt

November 7, 2016 / Posted by:

But St. Angie Jolie really doesn’t need to sharpen her shank when she can easily cut a trick deep with her clavicle bone.

Brad Pitt made it perfectly clear that he’s not just going to hand over sole physical custody of the child army to Angelina Jolie when he filed his response to her divorce filing and asked for joint custody. Angie would rather eat an entire meal at Outback with Chelsea Handler while wearing a bright color than agree to joint custody. Because of his alleged plane freakout on Maddox Jolie-Pitt and other possible incidents, Angie doesn’t trust Brad around their 6 children. TMZ says that Angie only wants Brad to get monitored visitation and is preparing for battle. A source says it’s going to be “War of the Roses redux.” So that’s the cue for Brangelina’s minions to put mattresses under every chandelier in every one of their mansions.

In September, the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services suggested that Angie get temporary sole physical custody and Brad get visitation rights. They both agreed to that plan and have been doing it ever since, and she wants to make it permanent. TMZ says that Angie eventually wants to co-parent with Brad, but won’t agree to that until he “gets his shit together.” She thinks that he’s got issues with the sweet nectar and the weed and wants him to fix that shit before he gets joint custody of their kids. She wants the child army to live with her full-time until he tames his alleged booze and anger issues.

Brad’s movie with his non-side piece Marion Cotillard comes out in a couple of weeks, so now is the time when they start pimping that crap out. But The Sun says that Brad’s team has already killed all of his planned interviews and TV show appearances for Allied. There’s a chance that he may not even show his face at the premiere next week in Los Angeles. The press has also reportedly been told to keep any question about Brad’s personal life from leaving their mouths while interviewing Marion and the rest of the cast.

A judge in Los Angeles once gave The Difficult Brown joint custody and that angry dollop of dick discharge shouldn’t be given joint custody of a broken Tamagotchi, so I’m sure Brad will probably get what he wants in the end. But I’m also sure that Angie and her dream team of Pitt fighters will go all out and fight Brad the same way he’s been fighting the hot for years. Brad won’t even be able to soothe his nerves with a few hits from his bong since he’s getting drug tested. I would say that may God be with Brad Pitt, but well… God is already listed as one of Angie’s lawyers on her divorce papers.


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