For years we’ve endured (Carl Sagan voice) billions of magazine headlines celebrating a Jennifer Aniston pregnancy or the countdown to a pregnancy or the sadness of lack of pregnancy. In July, Jennifer said in an essay for the Huffington Post that she had officially had it with the never-ending pregnancy rumors. Now it feels like we’re going to spend the next several years – or at least a few months into 2017 – discussing how over it Jennifer Aniston is. Justin Theroux took the September shift, Chelsea Handler got October, and now, in November, it appears that it’s Jennifer Aniston’s turn again.
Jennifer Aniston spoke about attempting to put an end to the Jennifer Aniston Uterus Watch during an interview for the December issue of Marie Claire. And it’s not just pregnancy either; Jennifer doesn’t agree with many of the conversations the media has had about her and women in general. Taylor Swift, take note: your measly #1 Slut Shaming Victim award is peanuts compared to the vast ways Jennifer Aniston claims she’s been shamed.
“My marital status has been shamed; my divorce status was shamed; my lack of a mate had been shamed; my nipples have been shamed. It’s like, Why are we only looking at women through this particular lens of picking us apart? Why are we listening to it? I just thought: I have worked too hard in this life and this career to be whittled down to a sad, childless human.”
As long as there are baby-obsessed Concerned Aunt Carols out there who demand to know with tears in their eyes when Jen is going be a mom, there will always be people who see her as a sad, childless human. Which is insane, because Marie Claire says they were greeted at Jen’s house by her three dogs. According to a statistic I just made up, three dogs are the responsibility equivalent to 1.5 human children. Stop feeling sad for Jen, Aunt Carols! Dogs are basically children. They both poop all over the place, they fight over toys, they eat shit they’re not supposed to, they act up when they’re not getting enough attention. I’m sure Jennifer’s dogs even bark “You’re not my real dad and you never will be!” when Justin tries to punish them for chewing on his favorite leather cuff.
Here are a few shots of Jennifer on a boat for Marie Claire.
Pics: Splash, Michelangelo di Battista/Marie Claire