Jinger Duggar Got Married

November 6, 2016 / Posted by:

The Quiverfull movement had reason to rejoice anew yesterday. A new Duggar baby portal was officially dedicated. By that, I mean Jinger Duggar got married, and it’s only a matter of time before her uterus is bringing forth multitudes to continue her family’s quest to overrun the planet.

People reports that Jinger and former major league soccer player Jeremy Vuolo got married at the Cathedral of the Ozarks at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. It all happened in front of close to 1000 guests (!!!), with Jeremy’s dad officiating. Jinger’s sister, the pregnant Jessa Duggar Seewald, was the maid of honor.

There are so many people in that family, how is it decided who gets to do what in formal situations like that? Is there a heated battle over flower girl? I know they’re supposed to be happy shiny examples of Christianity so they can’t exhibit resentment or frustration on the outside (especially not on TV) but is there seething internal resentment for some when Duggar #45 isn’t asked to be a groomsman?

Jinger and Jeremy (whom himself is an ordained pastor) were thrilled that his dad was tv-ready enough to officiate. Please, you know this wedding is going to be a two-part special on TLC.

“This was one of the most touching parts of the wedding is for Jeremy’s father to be able to officiate our wedding, standing with us and praying for us on this special day,” the couple tells PEOPLE.

“We plan to get away for a couple of days alone together and then will be leaving the country for an amazing trip to New Zealand and Australia,” the couple said. “We are so excited and so thankful for this amazing trip to start our marriage together. Most of all, we are just excited that we will be together … married!”

If you missed that, they’re together and married, which soon may be the opposite for Jinger’s skeeve brother. The couple also announced their nuptials on their website.

“YES! We are married! We are so thankful to God, our parents and our wonderful families and friends for celebrating this day with us and for helping us arrive at this moment in time. We love that we now are beginning our lives together as one, before God.”

We’re also incredibly excited to have as many children as humanly possible to eclipse the dark-sided things that go on in this family.” I kid. I imagine that part was redacted by The Duggars Prime (Bob and Michelle) and TLC.

Jinger and Jeremy (expect the letter “J” to figure in when they begin naming their expansive progeny) got engaged in July, just a month after they “officially announced they were courting.” Their courtship figured heavily into this season of TLC’s Jill & Jessa: Counting On. If I honestly have to re-type the old-timey wordcourting,” then I’m going to need TLC to issue me a parasol and a hoop skirt.

Here’s another video of Jinger (that spelling!) and Jeremy announcing that they’re married.

Best of luck to Jinger and Jeremy! God’s Chosen Couple, aka Jim and Michelle, posted a congratulations of their own on YouTube. If only breeding queen Michelle could utilize that beautiful side waterfall of hair flowing over her shoulder to somehow Rapunzel an escape from this mess, change her outlook on life and reinvent herself as a feminist icon. Pray for her.

Pic: Instagram

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