Dave Chappelle Isn’t With Hillary, But He Also Didn’t Vote For Trump

November 6, 2016 / Posted by:

Observer reported that Dave Chappelle performed an hour-long set at the Cutting Room in NYC on Friday night which reportedly consisted of him hatin’ on Hillary Clinton and lovin’ him some Donald Trump. Remember when Dave allegedly went insane and forced a commercial airliner to make an emergency landing? Me, too.

According to Observer, Dave said during his set that Donald is the one who’s been screwed over by the media. He also said that Hillary is the one that leaked the Billy Bush tape and that Donald’s words on the video don’t necessarily mean that he’s sexually assaulted women in the past. Not to get soap-boxy, but I’m wondering which strain of weed is Dave currently smoking, and is it the kind that the kids are lacing with formaldehyde?

“What I heard on that tape was gross,” Chappelle said. “But the way I got to hear it was even more gross. You know that came directly from Hillary.”

Chappelle further shocked the New York crowd by defending Trump. He took issue with the media stating as fact that Trump had admitted committing sexual assault in the recorded conversation. “Sexual assault? It wasn’t. He said, ‘And when you’re a star, they let you do it.’ That phrase implies consent. I just don’t like the way the media twisted that whole thing. Nobody questioned it.”

He also used an extremely tasteful analogy about Halle Berry to illustrate his feelings about Mrs. Clinton. Really, I should have skipped breakfast.

He likened voting for her to a hypothetical situation of actress Halle Berry breaking wind in his face during sexual relations. “I’m still going to go for it,” he said. “But I wish she hadn’t done that thing.”

Delicious! Dave also went into why he thinks Trump is the most “gangsta candidate” and an open member of the Illuminati. Does Beyonce have to sit near him at meetings? Ugh, you can imagine the leering she has to endure from that human pustule.

The comedian stated that Trump’s resilience in the face of the leak had impressed him. Comparing Trump to The Terminator, Chappelle said, “That would have devastated anybody else.” Chappelle added that Trump’s handling of the debate immediately following the controversy had won him over. Referring to Anderson Cooper and Martha Raddatz’s hostile questioning, he said, “Something about this was backward. A gay white man and a white woman asking a multi-billionaire how he knows the system is rigged and insisting it’s not. Does that sound right to you? It didn’t seem right to me. And here’s how you know Trump is the most gangsta candidate ever. They asked him how he knows the system is rigged and he said, ‘Because I take advantage of it.’ He may as well have flashed his membership card for the Illuminati right then.”

TMZ says that Dave also shit on Donald during his set. Maybe it’s because stories about people hating on Donald are now so prevalent, that it’s all become just so much taupe wallpaper in the dentist’s waiting room. No one clicks on those links anymore because there’s just no more suspense to be had!

But what the comedian is upset about … The Observer reporter didn’t mention he also went after Donald … as much as Hillary. In fact, Chappelle’s people tell us he’s already voted … for Hillary.

So, in summation, Dave thinks Hillary Clinton is a shady lady but also feels that electing Donald Trump as president is like letting your five-year-old play with a gas can and matches.

Cue Bill Hader as Stefon whisper-hissing “Accurate!


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