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November 5, 2016 / Posted by:

Couch Potato!

Couch Potato came out in 1986, so 1986 was the year in the 1980s when toy and games company Coleco decided, why not, and went all-the-way “fuck it” by putting out a stuffed potato doll that did absolutely nothing, just like the lazy bitches it was modeled after. Today I Found Out tells me that a dude named Tom Lacino claims his brain invented the phrase “couch potato” while he was on a phone call in 1976. Tom was part of a group called the “Boob Tubers,” which was a satire organization that was put together in 1973 as a response to Californians acting all health-crazy.  Tom’s fellow Boob Tuber Robert Armstrong turned “couch potato” into a cartoon and HISTORY WAS MADE and that phrase was farted into our eyeballs every second in the 1980s.

The Couch Potato doll wasn’t really supposed to be a toy. It was more of a gag gift you bought someone at Spencer’s. It was something you bought for a lazy, carb-swallowing, beer-guzzling TV whore who needed a loyal friend (because you know, it can’t move) to be a sloth with. Couch Potato was basically a bald Mama June, but a lot more useful.

Coleco also made a lady Couch Potato named Sweet Couch Potato and put out a lazy, stoner-eyed couch potato baby named Small Fry. And now I’m off to eBay to find the Couch Potato family, because unlike my dog, they will stick with me and won’t throw me a, “God, this sight is disgusting and embarrassing,” look when I’m eating melted ice cream, rum and Oreos soup while binge-watching Real Housewives of Melbourne, again.

Pic: Etsy

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