Open Post: Hosted By The “Official” First Look At That Old-Timey Tale About Bestiality

November 2, 2016 / Posted by:

Pictures of Disney’s live-action Beauty and the Beast movie leaked a little while ago, so we already know how derpy the CGI’d Beast looks, but today, Entertainment Weekly released the first official pictures and well….still awkward! Emma Watson looks like an overdressed 12-year-old at her junior high school dance, and Dan Stevens looks like somebody’s father in cosplay as some kind of Buffy the Vampire Slayer character. Mrs. Potts should take one look at this ILLEGAL scene and immediately run out of the castle to wave down a police carriage with her spout.

Speaking of Mrs. Potts, Entertainment Weekly posted many more pictures including one of Belle’s only friends in that castle she’s imprisoned in. Here’s Cogsworth (Ian McKellen), Mrs. Potts (Emma Thompson), Lumiere (Ewan McGregor) and Plumette (Gugu Mbatha-Raw):

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That frown on Mrs. Potts’ face is saying everything I need to say about this. I mean, isn’t Plumette supposed to be a feather duster! Trick looks like a bird pen. But I do love how it looks like Lumiere is double-flipping us off with flame fingers.

Here’s more pics of Kevin Kline as Belle’s dad, Luke Evans as Gaston and Josh Gad as Gaston’s bottom bitch. I’m sad that there’s no pictures of Gaston’s hairy nipples. And Belle looks real sad and dead-eyed in her off-the-rack-at-a-Disney-store-looking dress. I can’t blame her. You’d have the sads in a major way too if you were dancing with the giant talking ram dog you’re trying to fuck and the tea pot serenading you isn’t voiced by Angela Lansbury.

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