Michael Douglas did “An Evening with Michael Douglas” at the Royal Drury Lane Theater in London last night, and he should’ve spent the entire evening describing in detail what it was like getting humped from the back by Matt Damon while wearing a polyester beaver on his head. But instead of doing that, Michael Douglas spent the evening talking about his career with host Jonathan Ross. When Michael talked about making 1996’s The Ghost and the Darkness, his fat mouth hole spilled out the news that his co-star Val Kilmer has tongue cancer and is in a bad way. “Not knowing that spilling someone’s medical situation isn’t a good idea” is probably a side effect of eating a lot of twat.
Michael Douglas was diagnosed with stage 4 oral cancer in 2010 and later said he beat it with radiation and chemo treatments. During his Q&A with Wossy (there I go speaking Brit-esh, AGAIN), Michael let the world know that he’s praying for 56-year-old Val Kilmer who is currently battling tongue cancer. via People
“The picture didn’t turn out as well as I hoped but I had a wonderful time. Val was a wonderful guy who is dealing with exactly what I had, and things don’t look too good for him. My prayers are with him. That’s why you haven’t heard too much from Val lately.”
A source tells Entertainment Tonight that Michael also hasn’t heard from Val in over a year. Hmmm…. Why do I have a feeling that Michael D’oh-glas is going to hear from Val real soon and it will most likely be in a text message that may read like this: YOU CUNT MOTHERFUCKER ASSHOLE PIECE OF SHIT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
I have that feeling, because Val has made it clear that he wants to keep his medical business to himself. Val was photographed with a tracheostomy tube late last year and there were reports that he had throat cancer. Val denied having throat cancer. Val’s family later said that he’s got a throat tumor that he’s not treating because he’s a Christian Scientist. Val responded to that with a long Facebook post where he farted on the claims that he has a throat tumor and said that his health is his business. So I fully expect Michael Douglas to take it all back and say, “Errr, what I meant was, um, that Val, errr, um, hey, remember that time I said that munching puss gave me cancer?”
And here’s Michael Douglas putting Val Kilmer’s business out there at the Royal Drury Lane Theater last night.
Pics: Paramount, Splash