Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 30, 2016 / Posted by:

If your ass can’t even get one boyfriend, then read this shit and weep, because there’s reportedly a hero in China who not only got herself 20 boyfriends, but she managed to get all 20 of those boyfriends to each buy her an iPhone 7. And she sold those iPhones to buy herself a house in the countryside! I’m going to need this Chinese gold digging master to jump on a Skype call with me, so she can give me a real quick lesson on how to magically get a handful of boyfriends and magically get them to gift me with an iPhone 7. Then I can sell all those iPhones and buy a plane ticket to China so she can really teach me her ways.

The BBC says that someone writing under the username Proud Qiaoba told the inspiring tale on the Chinese blogging platform Tian Ya Yi Du. PQ claims that he works with my new favorite entrepreneur and the star of this story. Nobody knows her real name, so the Chinese media has been calling her “Xiaoli,” which is Mandarin for #GetiPhonesBitch. Xiaoli lives in the city of Shenzhen in the province of Guangdong. PQ says that Xiaoli showed her co-workers pictures of the house she bought in the countryside, and told them how she got the money for the deposit. Xiaoli sold the 20 iPhones to the mobile phone recycling site Hui Shou Bao for a total of 115,010 Chinese yuan (around $17,000). PQ thinks that Xiaoli bought the house for her mom and dad:

“”Everyone in the office is talking about this now. Who knows what her boyfriends think now this news has become public. [She] is not from a wealthy family. Her mum is a housewife and her dad is a migrant worker, and she is the oldest daughter. Her parents are getting old and she might be under a lot pressure hoping to buy them a house… But it’s still unbelievable that she could use this method!”

The hashtag “20 mobiles for a house” became the top trending topic on Weibo (which is like Twitter in China). The iPhone 7 came out in September and so many are awed by how Xiaoli worked her game so fast. Some, like me, are suspiciously squinting their eyes at this story. They think the story may have been farted up by the brains of the marketing department at Hui Shou Bao. Hui Shou Bao did confirm to the BBC that they bought 20 iPhones for 5,750 Chinese yuan each from a woman in October. Xiaoli refused to talk to the BBC.

I want to believe…. I want to believe….

This story is sort of believable. I mean, many aspiring gold diggers try to land one big money-filled shark, but there’s not that many out there and there’s way too much competition. It may be easier to try to land several guppies instead. And I’m guessing that she got them to buy her an iPhone 7 instead of just asking for cash, because saying, “Oh, baby, I lost my phone and so I have nothing to send you nipple selfies with,” is much more subtle than saying, “GIVE ME MONEY!” But you know, if I somehow managed to find 20 dudes who want to date me, and after doing them all I asked them for an iPhone 7, they’d probably hit me back with, “Dream on, whore, but I am sending you an invoice for the antibiotics I had to buy.” That’s why I need Master Xiaoli to teach me her skills!

Pic: Getty

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