Bob Dylan Finally Said Something About Winning A Nobel Prize

Earlier this month, baby boomer hippies pulled out their dried-up flower crown from the 1960s and smoked a celebratory joint (cut with Metamucil, of course) in honor of Bob Dylan winning the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature. Some were happy about the news, some weren’t and some were meh about it. Bob Dylan himself seemed to fall into the last category, because when the Nobel Prize people called him several times to congratulate him and invite him to the ceremony in December, the response they got was a silent cloud, blowin’ in the wind. Bob Dylan never called them back and didn’t even bring it up in the shows he performed after his win was announced. But Bob Dylan has finally broke his LEGENDARY SILENCE and well, you better Gorilla Glue your desk to the floor and hold on to that bitch tight, because his powerful excitement will knock you the hell over.

75-year-old Bob Dylan, who is currently on tour through the U.S., doesn’t really do a lot of interviews, but the Halycon Gallery in London is doing an exhibition of his artwork, so he talked to The Telegraph about it. The curly-topped, sandpaper-voiced curmudgeon was asked about being a Nobel Prize winner and his first answer was, “Isn’t that something…?” And then he said that he’ll go to the ceremony….if he can.

Yes, he is planning to turn up to the awards ceremony in Stockholm. “Absolutely,” he says. “If it’s at all possible.”

And as he talks, he starts to sound pretty pleased about becoming a Nobel laureate. “It’s hard to believe,” he muses.

His name has been mentioned as on the shortlist for a number of years, but the announcement was certainly not expected. When he was first told, it was, Dylan confides, “amazing, incredible. Whoever dreams about something like that?”

Anybody who has said the words, “I’ll go… if I can,” knows that translates into, “Bitch, don’t save me a seat.”

When Bob asked why the Nobel Committee hasn’t been able to get a hold of him, he only said, “Well, I’m right here.” Oh, he’s just being Dylan!

Bob Dylan is so not going to that ceremony. Bob Dylan is 75 years old, and if he’s anything like my abuelita was at 75, the last thing he wants to do is go to some dumb party and act like he cares. Whenever we had a party at my house, my abuelita would stay in her room, even if the party was for her own birthday. You had to go into her room if you wanted to spend time with her. So what I’m saying is, that if the Nobel Committee really cares about Bob Dylan accepting his award in person (and they’ve already said that they don’t), then they have to go to him and they better bring a piece of sheet cake too. And it better be a corner piece!

Pic: AP