Not to be outdone by the busted 70s ridiculousness that Amal Clooney wore the other day, Jessica Simpson started her Halloween celebrations early by stomping the streets of NYC yesterday while looking like a rejected extra from Madonna’s Deeper and Deeper video. If Charo got sick of being the perfect fashion icon that she is and wanted to show the people that she too fucks up sometimes, she’d wear this disaster. If Married to the Mob took place in the 70s and Lady Miss Kier did the costumes, this is something that Michelle Pfeiffer’s character would wear. Normally, I’d be all about that look, but on Jessica, it’s not working for me. As philosopher Patricia from Joe Versus the Volcano says, “That outfit’s wearing you, Felix.”
And that jacket looks like a pile of dead punk guinea pigs. If that fur jacket is real, Jessica better be careful. Because PETA may bring those dead creatures back to life with black magic and they’ll try to eat the fattened-up worms on her mouth.
On a positive note, New York’s Department of Sanitation thanks her for sweeping the streets for them.