Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Carter Lochte, Ryan Lochte’s dog whose either an ageless wonder, a magical time traveler, a lying bitch or a pooch with a dumbass for an owner!

Carter Lochte’s birthday was on Saturday and the pooch’s human did what he’s done for the past three years: he wished his Doberman dog friend a happy 8th birthday on Twitter! October 23, 2016 wasn’t only the anniversary of Carter Lochte’s born day, it was also the 3rd anniversary of Ryan Lochte showing his followers that he no good at math. Ryan tweeted a happy 8th birthday to Carter on Saturday, and as Twitter user @wholegrainne noticed, he did that last year and the year before. Either Carter is the Catherine Zeta-Jones of dogs and has stayed the same age for years, or the chlorine water-clogged 1-bit memory chip in Ryan’s brain got its facts screwed up AGAIN.

One year ago on October 23rd, Ryan started his annual birthday tweet for Carter with “8 years ago…

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And two years ago on October 23rd, Ryan also started his annual birthday tweet for Carter with “8 years ago…

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So, Carter Lochte could be a genius who changes the date on his birth certificate every year. Or Ryan Lochte’s Doberman keeps running away every year so he adopts another soon-to-be 8 year old one and names the dog Carter. Or Ryan Lochte is just being Ryan Lochte. That must be it. And if you’ve ever wanted to see a human’s head shake, blow out smoke and shut down, ask Ryan how old Carter is in dog years.

After Ryan got shit on Twitter about his dog’s real age, an adult showed him how to delete his latest birthday tweet for Carter and he replaced it with this:

The bad thing about being Ryan Lochte’s dog son is that he’s not potty trained so every time he pisses on the side of the couch, he’ll blame your ass. But the good thing about being Ryan Lochte’s dog son is that you get to stay 8 forever (or until some know-it-all on Twitter calls your stupid human out and ruins it for you).

Pics: @wholegrainne

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