Andy Cohen Once Had A Threesome With A Married Straight Couple. Hmmmmm, I Wonder Who He’s Talking About….

October 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Alternate headline: CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT!

The shifty don of the Housewives, Andy Cohen, is putting out his 46,789th memoir called Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries, in November and The Daily Mail got a few excerpts. Most of the excerpts come from the department of DUH, like Andy writes that before taping the reunion, all of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills turn their insides into a CVS pharmacy by downing a bunch of pills. Anybody with eyes that can see, ears that can hear and a sense of reason knows those bitches are pilled up to the ends of the earth. But Andy does write about how two years ago, he decided that he didn’t want to die without his dick kissing a chocha, so he had a threesome with a blonde woman and her muscular husband. SPOILER ALERT: It wasn’t Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, or so Andy claims…

Andy says that he’s done stuff with a woman before, but he’s never gone all the way, so he was hoping to change that during a threesome with a married straight couple. Andy writes that his friends Kelly and Mark approved of his threesome partners. But when all was said and fucked, Andy was still a pussy virgin.

When a married couple he was hoping to seduce into a threesome sent him a picture, he immediately sent it to his celebrity friends – including Kelly Ripa and her husband Mark Consuelo – to digest.
The wife was a beautiful blonde, the husband a muscular, tanned mechanic. And Cohen confesses he didn’t want to go to his grave never having had sex with a woman.

‘Jake’s very handsome and Angela is beautiful and I am very happy for you,’ Ripa assured him. Her husband, Mark Conseulos, was succinct: ‘Dude!’

In the hotel room, the stoned and happy threesome thoroughly enjoyed each other, but Cohen notes that while ‘I did things with a girl for the first time in thirty years, I did not lose my virginity.’

You know, “Angela and Jake” does sound like aliases that Kelly and Mark would use in the swingers scene. Now I’m not saying that Andy is lying a bit and the straight couple he had a threesome with was Kelly and Mark. But I am saying that if I was Andy, the straight couple I’d want to have a threesome with would definitely be Kelly and Mark. First of all, Mark is hot. Second of all, you could lube up Kelly’s peen button and take a few spins on it. And after I did that, I’d look at the both of them, oink and scream, “Now spit roast me!”

spl98444_001

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >