Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Crystal Connors!

While doing my post on the Obamas’ last state dinner (the one where Michelle Obama wore a stunning Ver-sayce), I did some serious investigative journalism work by reading over the guest list. My eyes were splashed with holy water (aka champagne) when I read the name: CRYSTAL CONNORS.

In my head, Cristal Connors from Showgirls is a real person who exists in this world, so I figured that some uneducated intern misspelled her name and she was at that state dinner. I pictured a diamond-encrusted Cristal Connors complimenting Michelle Obama on her gorgeous Ver-sayce, darlin’, before going off to one of the side bars to do body shots with Blake Shelton.

But that Cristal Conners wasn’t at the state dinner. There’s another Crystal Connors in this world and I don’t know much about her. I know that her man is billionaire hedge fund manager James Chanos (whose name came up in the Eliot Spitzer call girl SCANDAL) so she goes to a lot of those fancy political parties. I also know that she and bronzer are always one. But beyond that, I don’t know much and really, I don’t need to.

The only thing I really need to know is that her name is: CRYSTAL CONNORS. If you came at me and said that she was once arrested for trying to set fire to an animal shelter and she was wearing CROCs while doing so, I’d think for a minute before saying, “Okay, but her name is Crystal Connors.”

Pic: Bloomberg

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