Lady Gaga’s out there pimping her new album Joanne, which came out today, so you know what that means? It’s time for round 499 of the Gaga v. Madge bitch battle!
During a radio talk with Zane Lowe on Apple Music Beats 1 (via HuffPo), Lady Gaga’s absolute favorite subject, her being the Maxie to Madonna’s Barbie, came up and bitch didn’t like it all. Gaga looked so strained that I thought her new face was going to pop right off, fly across the table and hit Zane like a rubber pancake hitting the wall.
Zane took us into “here we go again…” territory when he said to Gaga that a lot of the shit she sings about are things that Madge has sung about. Gaga was not having it and she started off by trying to knock the rhinestone-encrusted dentures out of Madge’s mouth by calling Madge a “nice lady” (which is the sugar-coated code for “old hag“) and spewed out words about how she is a flawed and multi-talented artiste!
“Madonna and I are very different. Just saying. I wouldn’t make that comparison at all. I don’t mean to disrespect Madonna. She’s a, you know, nice lady. And she’s had a fantastic, huge career. She’s the biggest pop star of all time. But I play a lot of instruments. I write all my own music. I spend hours and hours a day in the studio. I’m a producer. I’m a writer. What I do is different. I’m not just rehearsing over and over again to put on a show. There’s a spontaneity in my work. I allow myself to fail. I allow myself to break. I’m not afraid of my flaws. There are my major differences between me and her. I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way. I just will not be compared to anyone anymore. I am who the fuck I am. This is me. My life story is my life story, just like yours is.”
Gaga is right! Sure, Gaga sometimes takes Madge’s old songs and rewrites the lyrics and changes a few notes here and there, but she’s the one holding the pen, thankyouverymuch. And sure, Gaga probably spent months calculating her next move and meticulously putting together her newest “persona” before running it through focus groups, but I will not argue with a professional artiste about the definition of “spontaneity.”
But I will argue with Gaga over insinuating that Madonna “Hendrix” Ciccone doesn’t play any musical instruments:
There’s no way Madge will stay quiet about this, so I’m sure she’ll respond,. And since Madge loves showing us that she can keep up with the edgy kids by getting nasty and naked on social media, I bet she’ll respond by posting a video of her playing “Perfect Illusion” on the guitar while naked, and yes, she’ll play it with her clit. Show that trick, Madge!
At around the 31-minute mark is when Gaga lets us know that she does it all, unlike that one nice lady:
And here’s Gaga as country rock-making, lot lizard-looking Joanne in NYC last night: