Tobey Maguire Has Been Living That Pussy Posse Life For Months

October 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Yesterday, Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyer announced that they’re done being a couple after 9 years of marriage. In their statement, they said that they came to that decision after doing a lot of “soul searching.” And according to Page Six, Tobey may have also been doing a lot of “hole searching” in the past few months while hitting up the clubs with the Pussy Posse (I still refuse to call them the Wolf Pack). 2016 has been chock-full of weirdness and that includes us gossiping about the adventures of Tobey Maguire’s dick.

A source says that Tobey and Jennifer’s marriage was pretty much done months ago, and they’ve been going out separately. Jennifer has been doing her thing and Tobey has been partying all over L.A. and is now Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s main vape pen holder. Poor Lukas Haas, he used to be Leonardo’s main vape pen holder. Now he’s been demoted to ID duty and his only job is to make sure the models they’re hanging out with are under 27. Woe is Lukas.

“Tobey was out in LA at all these hot spots . . . It looked like he was following in [supermodel maven] Leo’s footsteps . . . Tobey hasn’t been known to date those types of girls in the past. But he has been all over LA lately. It looks like Leo’s rubbed off on him.”

Another source says that Tobey re-joining the Pussy Posse isn’t a big deal to Jennifer and she knows he’s been partying. The source also says that a “side trick” is not the reason why their marriage ended:

“These two people are the best of friends, there is no third party involved and there is no animosity. He’s just going to clubs with Leo — that’s what’s happening.”

And TMZ got pictures of Tobey going to the clubs earlier this month. They posted pictures of 41-year-old Tobey talking to Lionel Richie’s daughter and Justin Bieber’s barely legal ex, Sofia Richie, at a club in West Hollywood on October 1st.

I’m younger than Tobey Maguire and whenever I talk to a teenager, I feel like Bill Murray in Lost in Translation. They make me feel so old. My toe nails shrivel up until they look like dried ginger, white hair sprouts out of my knuckles and I suddenly have a hard time with opening up wrapped candy. I’d rather talk to an 81-year-old than an 18-year-old. Talking to an 81-year-old makes me feel just-outta-the-womb fresh. I swear, a mid-life crisis is a helluva drug and Tobey is snorting it hard.

Now that the OG Pussy Posse is back together, they should expand by recruiting new members like Ben Affleck, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt. Every chick at the club would have to start wearing suspenders to hold up her chonies, because if she didn’t, her panties would automatically hit the floor after seeing Tobey, Ben, Johnny and Brad strut in while wearing the modern day mid-life crisis uniform (leather skinny jeans, a mesh shirt and Yeezys).

And here’s Leonardo at the Paris premiere of Before the Flood, which sounds like a documentary about the moments before the Pussy Posse struts into a club and causes a panty pudding tsunami. But it’s about climate change.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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