Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Banquet Cookin’ Bags (or sometimes known as, Banquet Boilin’ Bags)!

Since I consider myself a culinary connoisseur who regularly enjoys preparing and tasting fine foods, I made Julia Childs’ most difficult and proudest recipe*, spaghetti pie, a few weeks ago. I made way too much for my mouth to swallow in one sitting, so I did what my ancestors did with leftover food: I poured that shit into an extra large Ziploc bag and froze it. When I wanted to eat it a few days later, I almost gave up, because I had two really hard re-heating options: 1. Pull that frozen block of spaghetti pie out of the bag, drop it on a plate and microwave it (difficult!). 2. Pull that frozen block of spaghetti pie out of the bag, drop it on a baking sheet, turn on the oven and slide it in there (very difficult!). I wished I could just toss that baggie into a pot of bowling water, but since that bag wasn’t boil-able, I knew it would come out looking like Kim Kardashian’s ass: plastic-ey, greasy and inedible. I also wished for simpler times when you could just toss a frozen meal in a bag into boiling water.

Banquet Cookin’ Bags came out in either the 60s or the 70s, I’m not sure, and they stuck around until the microwave killed them dead in the mid-80s. Banquet Cookin’ Bags were boil-able bags filled with frozen meals (like sliced turkey and Chicken à la King) and all you had to do was drop one in boiling water and spend the next 8 minutes preparing your mouth for hot deliciousness. I’m only assuming it was hot deliciousness. I never ate a slice of scalding hot turkey straight out of a Banquet Cookin’ Bag. And since I’m a highly-skilled gourmet chef (see: me making spaghetti pie), I feel like I missed out by not burning my hand on hot water and Chicken à la King steam while opening up a Banquet Cookin’ Bag.

*This is a lie.

Pic: Pinterest (For Abigail)

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