We Regret To Inform You That Viewership Of Clown Porn Is On The Rise

October 15, 2016 / Posted by:

When I was growing up, the older kids in my neighborhood thought it would be funny to tell the younger kids that clowns were driving around in white vans looking to kidnap us. I believed this and slept with my bedroom light on well past puberty. Now, just when I thought the nightmare was over, clown terror has been trending since the summer. For the last couple of months, reports have come from all over the US and the UK about menacing clowns. Most of them have been proven to be hoaxes or the truly evil playing unholy pranks, but it’s still causing tears in the fabric of society. The repercussions have been serious. Like Ronald McDonald forced into hiding, so he doesn’t get tarred and feathered by terrified parents on the McDonald’s Playland. Professional clowns are piling into one tiny car to drive down to the unemployment office because they can’t get work. And clown porn views on the Internet are skyrocketing. Yes, Pornhub (by way of Mashable) has revealed that certain kinky people are apparently turned on by all the recent clown mentions and are flocking to their site to watch clowns boning. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be drinking everything at the bar while you keep reading.

According to Pornhub, searches for clown porn have risen 213% since this past August. The most popular search terms for this genre of adult entertainment are “clown porn,” “clown girl,” and “clown gangbang.” That’s dreadful, especially that last one. I like horror flicks, but even I have limitations. It gets worse.

The impact of media coverage can be seen with terms like ‘crazy clown’, ‘scary clown’ and ‘killer clown’ moving above longer-term fetish favourites like ‘midget clown’, ‘birthday clown’, ‘clown feet’ and let’s not forget — ‘clown fart’,” reads a blogpost on the site.

Yes, there is “clown fart” porn. Is there an “off” switch for the universe? Someone flick it.

In an interesting twist, Pornhub reports that women are 33% more likely to search for clown porn than men. This weird because women have recently been faced with the biggest and scariest clown of all. He’s everywhere and he’s the very opposite of sexy. You would think even female clown fetishists would be clowned out after him.

Pic: WENN

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