This week marked the one-year anniversary of former Kardashian husband Lamar Odom’s overdose kontretemps at a Nevada whorehouse. As you know, former NBA player Lamar (probably having experienced an epiphany along the lines of “my wife only married me because her family are professional fame whores and they kollect famous penises of color like some people collect coins from the Franklin Mint),” mired himself in leased vagine and hard drugs and nearly died at the Love Ranch South in Pahrump, Nevada. Well, the owner of the Love Ranch, Dennis Hof, has discovered that the merest whiff of a Kardashian in your life (think burning pool innertubes and formaldehyde) brings ruin and devastation. His house in Reno burned down and he thinks the Kardashians kursed him!
TMZ reports that the state of Nevada was trying to manage a forest by setting a controlled burn. Well, it got out of control and decimated his three-story home. Luckily, it was the house he lives in and not the Love Ranch: Wilderness Adventure. No hookers were hurt and Dennis could have a helluva case to bring before Judge Judy. But, instead of blaming Nevada for the fire, he says that it all stemmed from an evil spell that came out of the Kardashian kauldron.
Hof tells TMZ … he definitely feels like Khloe and the rest of the Kardashians put a hex on him.
I believe him. Everybody knows that the K-Koven is led by the most fearsome witch of all, Kris Jenner (that’s her up top at Paris Fashion Week dressed like her actual occupation). She’s what happened when Satan mixed every Disney villainess (along with some heaping helpings of Botox and wig glue) in a blender and set the result loose upon the world. Kris doesn’t like it when a Kardashian kharacter almost dies without her writing it into the script first and receiving a drama bonus from E!. I’m sure she also frowned upon Dennis suggesting she foot the bill for Lamar’s tragic stay at “HoBnb.” Dennis got off lucky. You can always rebuild a house. He could have found himself magically trapped in the Spanx-encased body of a heat-stroked model during Kanye’s fashion show.
Lamar Odom — Brothel Owner's House Burns Down … Kardashians Put a Curse On Me (PHOTOS) https://t.co/GZ5xMh2GeG
— TMZ (@TMZ) October 15, 2016