Brace Yourselves For A Shock: Shia LaBeouf Isn’t Legally Married And Probably Did It For Attention

October 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Shia LaBeouf and his on-and-off-again girlfriend of a few years, Mia Goth, got “married” by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas on Monday and it was livestreamed on TMZ, because this is the world we live in now. Sans the fact that it was livestreamed and went down on a Monday, it was my kind of wedding, because it was cheap, classy and steps away from many all-you-can-eat buffets. But as many tricks suspected, Shia and Mia’s wedding was just like his rattail: elegant but FAKE AS FUCK!

Since Shia and Mia’s Monday afternoon wedding was the celebrity event of the century decade year month day hour minute second, the clerk’s office in Clark County, Nevada got a lot of inquiries from the media. The media wanted to know if Shia and Mia got a marriage license. They didn’t. The clerk’s office looked through their records, which are public, and found no sign of a marriage license for LaDouche and MIA (which isn’t only her name, but also describes her eyebrow situation). Clark County tweeted this yesterday:

People asked Shia’s rep if it was a commitment ceremony or just another performance art piece. His rep didn’t get back to them.

Whether or not it was a real commitment ceremony between Shia and Mia, a bond was solidified in front of TMZ’s cameras on Monday afternoon in Las Vegas. Shia made a commitment to love, cherish and forever worship his real soulmate: ART! So, congratulations to Shia and his new wife, Mrs. High Art LaBeouf!

Pic: Splash

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