Sparkling pink tourmaline tennis bracelet Amber Rose doesn’t really have a specific job, but I’d say if she had to pick something to write on her census form, she should write “sex-ed teacher.” Because Amber Rose has taught us many things about our bodies and our horny selves. Like about how pussy doesn’t need to rest and using your sex skills to get money. She recently found a way to combine a sex tip with a beauty tip. That’s called multitasking!
Amber spoke to Allure about a new gig with Flirt Cosmetics. Flirt specializes in fake eyelashes and that’s it, so even though they have the word “cosmetics” in their name, you’re going to have to get your blush/contour/concealer/eyebrow wax somewhere else. But don’t worry about where you’re going to find a good highlighter. According to Amber, you can get that just-fucked glow at home all by yourself for free (or whatever the price of a fresh pack of AA batteries is).
“Masturbation. I wish I had the time to masturbate every day in reality, but I don’t. I say a lot of those things on [The Amber Rose Show] because I am very sex-positive. I do say those things in a way where I am very serious, but it’s also a joke.”
I feel terrible for the mica-grinding industry. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before everyone learns the good news about doing yourself till your cheekbones start popping for Jesus, and companies who grind shimmer for a living go out of business.
But maybe you should grab a couple of highlighters from Sephora just in case. O’ing for glowing is all well and good, but like Amber says, sometimes you’re too busy or too tired and you need a plan B to make you glow like a 150-watt incandescent light bulb.