As Donald Trump’s campaign lives on and Trump supporters dislocate their shoulders from reaching so damn hard while trying to defend that pussy grab shit, Billy Bush is wondering if he should do damage control by checking into rehab for dumbfuckness or by getting his picture taken as he gently pets pussies (with permission) at a cat shelter. Billy got his ass suspended from Today and NBC may permanently wax off the Bush. And sources tell Page Six that Billy Bush may only have his own stupidity to blame. Sources say that NBC staffers only started looking for the tape when Billy Bush bragged about its existence. So Billy Bush may have fucked himself. Oh, schadenfreude, it’s always a good day when you spoon me from behind and whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
An insider tells Page Six that at a party during the Olympics in Rio, the human form of a popped collar on a pastel Polo shirt bragged to several Access Hollywood staffers about an old tape of Trump “being a real dog.” That led to those staffers hunting that tape down. People’s source says that once NBC found the tape, they were planning to edit out the parts where Billy egged Trump on and were waiting for their lawyers to approve it. (NBC News denies they were planning to edit it.) Those damn lawyers took too long, because someone at NBC leaked it to The Washington Post who posted it in all of its unedited unholy glory.
When the douche-filled Kid Brother doll joined Today, he never told NBC News about the tape and they’re pissed at him for that. NBC believes he could have broken the morality clause in his contract by not telling him about the tape. Um, those bitches at Today broke an unwritten morality clause with humanity when they decided to torture our eyes, ears and souls by hiring that insufferable ass Billy Bush.
“Billy was bragging about the tape to other NBC staff while in Rio. If he knew about the tape, and remembered the full extent of such an explosive conversation with a presidential candidate and didn’t disclose that to NBC News, that is a very, very serious problem. It is not clear if Billy remembered the exact level of vulgarity in the conversation with Trump, or if he instead realized its news value and didn’t declare it to protect himself.”
Since Billy talked about the “hot legs” on Days of Our Lives actress Arianne Zucker and never defended his co-worker (at the time) Nancy O’Dell as Jabba the Trump mouth sharted about trying to fuck her, he could face a sexual harassment investigation.
Apparently, Billy Bush has the support of zero women on Today’s staff. They revolted and held a meeting about Billy yesterday. And the Wine Queen of the Morning Kathie Lee Gifford is so disgusted with Billy that she doesn’t even want to see his heathen face on her monitor. Billy, who hosted the 3rd hour, used to throw the show to Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee, who host the 4th hour. If he stays, Kathie Lee doesn’t want Billy to do that anymore. The source dribbled out this quote, which is my new favorite go-to excuse about EVERYTHING:
“She has Jesus in her life and feels this is just not right.”
My mom (while watching TV): Michael, I was watching that Dr. Phil episode! Why did you change the channel on me?
Me: I have Jesus in my life and this is just not right.
Billy is probably going to get fired (UPDATE: A source tells CNN says he’s done at NBC), but before that happens, will the producers of Today please, please bring him back on and let Kathie Lee Gifford interview him? My life is incomplete without footage of Kathie Lee drinking her breakfast chardonnay with one hand while flicking holy water at Billy’s face with the other.
And here’s Billy Bush already wearing the official uniform of the unemployed (and of bloggers) while walking to his car in Encino, CA yesterday: